As another festive season draws to a close, it is time to commiserate with our fellow free-from diners over their disappointing afters. And I may as well cut to the chase, hadn’t I? This year there could only be one winner of the dreaded Fruit is not a Pudding gong.

Whilst many poor party-goers were once again served with lacklustre efforts at fancy venues; the usual parade of melon bookends, unripe strawberries and pears, pears, pears; just one intrepid chef had the audacity, the cheek, to dump cornflakes on some stewed fruit and call it a crumble.

The winner this year is Nikki.

My 2018 #fruitisnotapudding entry. Excitedly ordered the crumble… got this… stewed, unsweetened fruit with a ‘crumble’ of cornflakes and raisins on top 🤷🏻‍♀️#fruitwithcornflakesisstillnotapudding pic.twitter.com/LYRFQyhQsE

— Nikki (@MrsNikkiN) December 2, 2018

I hope that she will be more than amply consoled by the prize of delicious puddings from our friends at Pudology that will be winging their way to her soon.

But, I know, you also want to see the rogues gallery of other entries, don’t you?! Strap in!

In every year of Fruit is not a Pudding we see new trends in the fruit salad world. If only the effort of thinking them up was applied to learning how to make some egg-free meringue, or remembering that crème brûlée is already gluten free without you having to do anything special!

This year, instead, chefs busied themselves with such innovations as:

Spatchcocked grapes that look like mini demogorgons,

#fruitisnotapudding …. as my fellow diners enjoy festive delights! (Even if I do like fruit ) @HealthJourno no disclaimers required!!! pic.twitter.com/PfZXK9iyVZ

— VendingPixie (@VendingPixie) December 6, 2018

dying their apples red,

 and creating heady mixes of sweet and savoury by adding what we presume is a generous drizzle of balsamic vinegar to mango.

In fact, let us be kind to this noble profession, because in fact some tried so hard, they were injured in the process of plating up:

#Glutenfree pudding at Xmas party tonight was the worst of both worlds. Disappointing but not dire enough to win #fruitisnotapudding
Mind you – the “biscuit” under the raspberries was solid enough to take out a tooth. Is there a runner up prize for added jeopardy @carlybtalbot? pic.twitter.com/xBUP4EYywJ

— Mother of Skodas (@Cobnutlin) December 15, 2018

#fruitisnotapudding plus the blandest sorbet ever 😭 (currently eating a bowl of cereal as I’m starving after my work xmas meal) pic.twitter.com/cM2oSD5SEk

— Lynsey (@glutenfreelynZ) December 21, 2018

As debate continues to rage over whether sorbet should be considered fruit or pudding, another slew of entries demonstrated something of a 1970s revival in the dessert world. Fruit juice was on offer as a last course for more than one Christmas meal, and one poor vegan entrant was treated to the ‘best of tinned’ in a vegetable broth & fruit cocktail double bill whilst in hospital, because the last thing you need when poorly is some proper sustenance.

#OverExcitedCoeliacYuleLog
Day 5: Twas the 1st roast dinner of the session @ work today. Very nice too. Loads of comms with site Head Chef & catering team checking what’s #GlutenFree! Very helpful 😁 Not sure if NO PUDDING counts as #FruitIsNotAPudding tho? Or fruit juice? 🤔🤣 pic.twitter.com/R25dlHIYbR

— David (@DavidJ_GF) December 5, 2018

We’re delighted, of course, that everyone enjoyed joining in and making light of their disappointment; as well as this year sharing some truly good free from desserts. Wishing you a happy, and inclusive new year; here’s to better puddings in 2019!

The dessert of dreams tonight at my Christmas night out! (Even the picture is shit) 😧🍎🍓🍍#glutenfree #coeliac #glutenfreelife pic.twitter.com/HLsa8Z19FH

— The Positive Coeliac (@coeliacpositive) December 1, 2018